That person

Just to say I'm writing this at work (which is ok, we're allowed) NOT when I'm supposed to be studying, which is coming along ok in a gosh I hope staring at a book and making notes facilitates recall, maybe I should put it under my pillow and hope it oozes into my brain by osmosis kind of way. I really appreciate all the encouragement I've received -thank you all so much ((hugs)). I've never been so underprepared in an academic situation before, but this is the Grown-Up World now and I'm not the centre of it so I just have to suck up the terror, keep working and make jolly sure this doesn't happen next semester.
A friend of mine at work commented that I was sounding much better after the departure of the stinking everlasting sinus infection. I replied, yes, I even went running last night without feeling as though I need a lung transplant. Wow, she said, you're so dedicated! I mumbled something about having races coming up and not wanting to die, as you do, but she persisted, saying no-one made you sign up to those races - that's dedicated! And then I thought, yes, it is. I am dedicated. I am dedicated to being physically strong and as healthy as I can manage. I am dedicated to becoming a person who can run (verrrrry slowly) for two or three hours. I want to be that person and I am prepared to impersonate her as long as I have to, even if that means heading out for a run at 8.30pm when the warm living room and the recliner seem infinitely more desirable, because that's when I have time.
It was a nice run. It was very cold and a bit foggy but that made it quiet and there were soft halos around the streetlights. I wore my heavier jersey with the flowers on it that I like, so I was warm and looked pretty. I was happy to be that person running in the misty dark. My friends, my friends - even if you don't really believe you can become who you want to be, plug away at it. Dedicate yourself to your dream. Be that person.
I had a #$%!@ #$%!@ #$% anaphylactic reaction when I got home. #$%!&* #$%&* #$%!&*!!! I got onto it quickly so I didn't have to use my epi-pen or go to hospital, but I will have to go back and see my allergy specialist. We'll be Having Words. I thought this was fixed for good so I'm a bit upset about it. Even more than the HORRIBLE itching and looking like the elephant man for a couple of days until the swelling subsides, I hate the Spousal Unit and Noddie worrying when I go out.In other news, I can't work out whether the impulsive haircut I had yesterday is the zenith of a lifetime of follicular butchery or rather cool. Time will tell.

More anon, rainbow chasers!